Aric McKeown

It doesn’t matter if you walk into a creepy alleyway, homeless people will follow you down there asking for cigarettes. Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

I’m involved in an improv group called the Neutrino Video Project: Twin Cities. With three cameras, three directors, three brave “runners,” and lots of improvisers, we create instant movies for audiences. On the last of Friday of every month at the Bryant-Lake Bowl, we take off from a packed theater to hit the streets and film a movie that will be run back to the packed theater for the audience to watch.

It is almost live, always frantic, and lots of fun. There is no time for edits or retakes. There are no controlled environments. There are no scripts. Whatever makes it into the lens of the camera makes it on to the screen at the Bryant-Lake Bowl.

Which brings us back to our alleyway. Actually, let’s back up again. It was a chilly January 25th, and our filming group had just left the warm theater to start filming our first scene. We ran a short two blocks to Milio’s Sandwiches on Lake and Lyndale. A toasty indoor location sounded like a great place to start our movie.

Moments after “action” was yelled and our first scene was under way, a loony fresh off the Lyndale bus stepped into Milio’s and into our scene. With a rats nest on her head, a shiny jacket, stretch pants, and a mouth full of barely distinguishable obscenities, this coked up crazy became part of our improv scene. She had a few very loud words to say about men. Of course, being professionals, all her rantings were incorporated into our scene.

After capturing three minutes of footage, our first video tape was sent back to the Bryant-Lake Bowl. We decided to change locations for our second scene. You know, someplace a little bit further from crazy. Enter our alleyway.

The alleyway we filmed was surprisingly well lit. It is the perfect place for a confrontation. We ran down the alleyway, set ourselves up, and started filming. Little did we know that a tall older gentlemen with a cane would follow three young men into an alley to accost them for cigarettes.

While we were still filming, the homeless fellow started talking to us very loudly about cigarettes. So, in character, I decided to panic and run past him. This frustrated him greatly. As a sign of his great frustration, he twirled his cane a few times and then threw it into the air while rambling. Once in the air, the cane did what all objects in the air eventually do and came down. Specifically, it came down on his head. This was all caught on camera and all became part of our movie.

But our tall cigarette seeking friend wasn’t done yet. In our third and final scene, and in a different location, he was hiding in a doorway we passed. Our director had the foresight to turn on the camera and capture him. What was captured as we walked by him? The phrase “the cold makes my balls hard” was captured, of course.

So what is the point of my story? There are two, I guess. One is that people will risk unknown and possibly dangerous situations to ask for a cigarette. Two is that you should come see the Neutrino Video Project: Twin Cities because this crazy crap seems to happen to us all the time. It’s an exciting show and it would be a shame to miss.