Listen, my back hurts. It has been hurting on and off for about a month, and I have been in constant pain for the last week. And I like to complain. It fills time in the mindless conversation we’re having. But your response to my complaining should not be to “see a chiropractor.”
Are you trying to be useless? You seem to be missing a step. How about I “see a trained professional who graduated from medical school” first? That’s what you should suggest, if you cared about my well being.
Chiropractor’s should be filed in the same category of prescription drugs. If your doctor refers you to one, great. They do server a purpose in specific cases. So, really, if you tell me to “see a chiropractor”, you might as well be telling me to “take some penicillin.” Take some penicillin? Are you serious? Stop being stupid. Penicillin? For my back?
So I’m going to a real doctor who understands things today. Not someone who thinks they can fix my liver by adjusting my spine. And, no, that isn’t a straw man argument. That’s what a lot of chiropractors believe that can do. It’s called vertebral subluxation.
Now let me get this straight. You’re not even telling me to take penicillin. You’re telling me to take a useless Fish Oil supplement to fix my back. Do you like seeing me in pain? Stop trying to be helpful.
Have you tried crystals? No? Well, there’s your problem.
I’ve tried crystal skulls. Do those count?