Netflix has either gotten stupider in the last month, or way too smart for its own good. As evidence, I submit to you the screenshot below:
Netflix is correct that I did enjoy Delicatessen, MST3K: The Brain That Wouldn’t Die, and Rashomon. And Netflix is also correct that I would enjoy Homestarrunner: Everything Else: Vol. 1. But what crazy algorithms are they using to come up with this conclusion?
The conclusion is dead on. It is just very hard to believe that Netflix came to this conclusion all on its own.
I think, perhaps, it is trying to seem smarter than it is. Like the guy wearing his German army fatigues in the art house theater laughing loudly at Dr. Strangelove so everyone knows that he “gets it.”
Netflix either came to this correct conclusion by error, or it is going to enslave mankind any day.
Published at August 8, 2007
in Lists.
1. Sky Mall
“I gots ta get my Sky Mall on before I hits the club.”
2. Goose i.e. golden goose
“That goose be as big as a midget!”
3. Leprechaun
“I gotta go to da mall to leprechaun my phone!”
4. Top hat
“He act all top hat, but he really just derby.”
5. Cheers
“He got so much Cheers, everyone know his name.
6. SNuh (Swallow’s Nest)
“That dapper fellow certainly has the rube to purchase only the best SNuh.”
7. Shiny things
“Wow, those sure are some shiny things.”
Published at August 6, 2007
in At Work.
If you work in an office crammed with cubicles and drowning in white noise, then you are more than likely the recipient of an “office smile.”
If you do not spend 8 hours a day surrounded by muted colors and people who leave their loud cellphones on their desk when away at lunch, you can experience the sacred ritual that is the “office smile” by reading these tidy instructions.
Step 1. Get up from your desk and walk somewhere else. Do not worry, as your desk will still exist when you eventually return.
Step 2. Make eye contact with another employee who you have seen around the office before, but do not know.
Step 3. Quick, look away! Too much eye contact can lead to an awkward conversation.
Step 4. Okay, you’re closer now. Go ahead and establish eye contact once more. Five feet is a good distance to go by as an estimate.
Step 4. Smile at your coworker, but adjust your smile as such. Push the corners of your mouth as far apart as possible. Pretend they are two negatively charged ions and they can not wait to get far away from each other. Keeping your lips closed is also an option.
Step 5. Drop the “smile” as soon as you have passed your fellow cube farmer. Your obligation has been fulfilled.
If it easier for you to remember, you can think of this as the “work grimace.” You will look like you are in pain while doing this, as if you fear being hurt more.
Remember to go back to your desk when this is all complete. You will probably be tired out by pretending to be friendly to people you have no formal connection to. You’ve done a very good job.
I live in the Twin Cities, located in snowy Minnesota. If you happen to live anywhere at all, you have heard that the 35W Mississippi River Bridge here collapsed for reasons unexplainable as of yet. But everyone is talking about this, so it is time to talk about the opposite of bridges.
So what is the opposite of a bridge? A bridge is a material object that connects two areas for means of transportation. What is an immaterial item that connects nothing?
Why, Phrenology, of course!
Phrenology is the theory that your personality and criminology can be determined by the shape of your head. As a man with a head that has trouble fitting into most hats, it is nice to see that most scientists abandoned this theory in the early 20th century.
That doesn’t mean it is okay to let your guard down around those you may grab your melon for a good thumping. Phrenology has its advocates in the 21st century. They claim it is a real science that can even help in law enforcement!
The moment the US starts giving phrenological exams to airline passengers, it is time to pack your bags and slowly move towards the border. And while I haven’t read the Patriot Act, I’m sure Phrenology must be stuck in there somewhere.
Phrenology is a pseudo-science theory, and as such does not connect anything to anything. Especially not for the purposes of transportation.
Don’t you feel a little better now that we found the opposite of bridges together?
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